HOW TO STAY CONNECTED TO ADULTING KIDS
No one told me being a parent of adulting kids was in many ways harder than when they were under our roof full-time with curfews (the oldest never broke and the youngest apparently did not know how to tell time.
There were conference calls between my siblings about how one of my boys ran into an infinity hot tub.
His uncle taught him how to successfully revive his iPhone with a bag of rice and a west-facing deck.
Or when our boys waved their dad down in the garage to warn him their mom and sister were in an epic argument and not to go upstairs.
As parents, we won the lottery with our kids and their decision-making and study skills. We were blessed with kids who were not risk-takers (the risky kind).
They have friends, coaches, and family support systems who were and are always available.
And now? My kids are living in different time zones. When I wake up at 2 am, I try my hardest not to cycle through my worry list.
Count to 10 Laura, don’t look at the clock, Laura. Breathe.
In writing this blog post, I discovered multiple definitions of adulting kids, but for me, it is a vanity thing.
The reality is that my kids are adults, but there is a maternal connection. My sister and brothers, as aunts and uncles, have amazing connections with their nieces and nephews.
Here is a great read from Grown and Flown.
So with adulting children, we have moved from a parental role to the role of a consultant.
Sometimes we are called for a consultation, but most of the time they figure it out on their own. We are here to listen.
Over the years we learned when we try to control our kids or offer too much advice we ned something in this stage when we try to control our kids or offer too much advice, we take away their ability to make their own mistakes.
Because making mistakes is how to grow and gain confidence.
HOW TO STAY CONNECTED TO YOUNG-ISH ADULTS IN YOUR LIVES.
The Iphone has made access to our kids, nieces, siblings so much easier. My momn plays Scrabble and Wordle with my siblings.
We bought a Frubo camera and treat dispenser for our youngest to stay connected to Elliott. We knew Evan was home when we would hear the Furbo toss a treat across the hardwood floors at 1 am (EST).
When this son moved to NYC for a job we broughtout the Furbo . The app-based video and treat dispenser was a fun way for the kids to send a tr
We love it! And we can usually tell who is sending treats just by the time of day.
SHARED STREAMING ACCOUNTS
Raise your hand if your adult-ish kids are still on your family phone plan. We still pay for our daughter’s cell phone (and the boys, but she is the oldest and makes the most money).
She is on the family plan and she and I get emotional thinking she would not be on our plan. She for different reasons than mine. It’s a rite of passage and we are not quite there yet.
PET VIDEOS
Last year there was a very intense nine minutes when I could not locate our youngest son. My husband asked when I last talked to him and my response is the reason he rolled over on the couch and finished Saturday afternoon sports field nap.
I told him I sent Evan a video of Chloe and Elliott earlier in the day and he had yet to respond. I was slightly hysterical until the mom squad sent their sons to confirm Evan was taking a nap on Saturday afternoon. Like father like son.
It was Halloween weekend.
I got a lot of grief from my son and husband, but in my defense, Evan always replies to dog pics and videos.
GROUP FAMILY TEXTS
I love to screenshot text messages and share the funny texts to the family. It always generates responses and a few laughs.
Dog videos do the same thing.
SHARE WHAT YOU ARE DOING
While my boys were in college, I would send them my tennis match scores. They could care less but I think it is a subtle way to let our kids know we have lives separate from them.
Please share your ideas in the comments and I will include them in a future post. I am always looking for ways to stay connected.
I can so relate to this post! We have a few different family group chats and streaming accounts. We’re all still on the same phone plan that we pay for. I always thought when they get married, they’d get off of our phone plan…I guess that’s not necessarily the case. I love that Furbo snack idea! We share cat videos between the girls of our 3 individual cats. I also share different things with different kids. Sharing our Connections board every day is another fun way to connect…literally! Hope you had a blast in NYC!